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The Dark Nut Returns - The Bug's Lair

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March 13th, 2006


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02:41 pm - The Dark Nut Returns
The aged warrior squirmed uncomfortably as he pondered the upcoming confrontation - the Mutants had dominated the underworld of Metropolis for too long. This was his city .. well, and Superman's.. and Steel's.. and a few others, but it was part his. He felt anxious, and overly-inked.

The armored tank he occupied rolled along - the interior reeking of gunpowder and a two-dollar air freshener long past its expiration date. The Slugbug, Cheeks had called it.

Cheeks was a good soldier.

He looked above him, then - at Kewpie, manning the controls of the Slugbug. She had much to learn, but it was good to have a faithful ally at his side again. She didn't seem to be very good at not driving over the cars parked alongside the street, but that plastic smile never left her face.

Shaking himself from his reverie, Ambush Bug peered through the slit ahead of him. The dump that the mutants called home was coming up fast - he pulled the override brake. Best not to rely on Kewpie's driving here. Flipping a switch, he turned on the loudspeaker to address the mutant throng.

"Testing. One, Two, Three.."

The crowd began to murmur with growing hostility. He heard garbled shouts from the mob - "Ambush Bug Sucks!" "We want Lobo!" - but he paid them no heed.

Clearing his throat, he spoke again.

"Metropolis is my town. And Superman's. And a few other people's. The point is - you're no longer welcome to prey on the citizens of this fair metropolis.. which also happens to be named Metropolis."

The mutants roared with collective anger. They weren't going to go easy. Brandishing weapons, they started towards the Slugbug.

"Kewpie, fire up the Hennygun!"

His sidekick, placid and smiling as ever, seemed frozen by fear, so Irwin was forced to take action himself - he grabbed the override controls and pulled the trigger.

The air was filled with the roar of the hennygun, as the poultry projectiles sliced into the mutants.

Budda-Budda-BaKawk-BaKawkBaKAWK!

Ambush Bug grinned up at his sidekick. "Rubber chickens, honest."

The mutants fell back, the crowd parting to reveal their leader - a hulking fellow with a Geordi LaForge visor and a bad mohawk. Ambush Bug let the gun fall silent, to hear that the head mutant had to say.

"You come out! We settle this like men."

His aged muscles creaking against the alien vinyl of his suit, Ambush Bug crawled up out of the hatch atop the Slugbug, looking down on the mutant leader with a menacing hamburglar. Or grimace.

"Sounds like fun."

He leapt down into the muck to stand face to face with the brute - both of them swollen to almost Liefeldian proportions. The two gladiators glared at one another, neither moving - until an unspoken agreement was reached, and they launched into action.

Both fell backwards into the muck, arms and legs flapping feverishly, struggling to complete their pefect muck angel before the other. Ambush Bug felt a rib snap - it'd been too long since he'd seen this kind of action. He gritted his teeth, and flapped on.

But the mutant leader's lack of intellect proved to be his undoing that day - somehow during the fight, he'd managed to turn himself face-down in the muck. That desperate gurgling sound signalled Ambush Bug's victory, as he staggered to his feet.

A roar went up from the mutant crowd around. "Hooray!" "Huzzah!" "I still want Lobo!"

* * * * *

Ambush Bug awakens slowly from the dream, stretching and yawning - squinting his eyes as the glare from the morning sun hit his face. He looks around the floor of his bedroom, shaking his head at all the discarded beer cans.

"I gotta switch back to Budweiser.. this Miller stuff's just too much for me!"

(cue Three Stooges outro music)
Current Mood: amusedamused

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:oracle_watching
Date:March 15th, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations! You're our new Ambush Bug player!

You've got invitations waiting for you at http://www.livejournal.com/manage/invites.bml (you'll need to be logged in as the Bug) to pick them up.

We'll be putting up an orientation post for you in our OOC group shortly.
[User Picture]
From:the_ambush_bug
Date:March 16th, 2006 01:53 am (UTC)
(Link)
Wahoo! Set course for wackiness, all ahead Warped Factor Twelve!

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